I celebrated my 30th birthday last week, it’s by far my favorite birthday ever. We get to celebrate it at Sam and Nomar’s wedding together with my college BFFs that I terribly missed.
It was a perfect ending to my 20’s and a remarkable beginning for my 30’s; that day was filled with nothing but love. Though I was surrounded by people who I don’t know, the positivity was all over the place, and I am all about that.
I get to give a speech for darl (Sam, I call her that) and Nomar and wait for it…I DIDN’T CRY!! woohoo! It was a challenge holding the tears back FYI. Nevertheless, I want to share with you, my message to them.
“First of all, let me welcome Nomar to the “Happy wife, happy life club”.
Let me start with DO NOT LET YOUR MARRIAGE CHANGE WHO YOU ARE. Being married doesn’t mean you always have to agree with your spouse or you need to change who you are to make the whole things work, UNLESS it is a matter of importance and when I say matter of importance, it involves attitude that needs some fixing, the crucial ones that will destroy your union, destroy the love, apart from that wala na; do not let your marriage eat you. You married each other because of your unique identity, do not take the word “marriage is a union” literally. You are as one but you don’t need to be one in character.
COMMUNICATION IS THE RELATIONSHIPS OXYGEN. Always talk things out, even the embarrassing ones. Nothing is exempted, remember you are one now. But learn that there are two types of communication, the one where you both talk and address the situation and the one where the other talk and the other listen. Understand what your spouse is saying, understand it by heart and mind. As Stephen Covey said, “The biggest problem with communication is we do not listen to understand, we listen to reply.”
DO NOT WORRY ABOUT MONEY. Honestly, money in marriage is not vital, money to live this life is. Money is not included in the book of marriage, it is not the foundation of solid matrimony, it is not even mentioned there. When you are having too little, it is only because God needs to empty your cup to make it full again. The Lord will always provide do not forget that.
And last, ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. Because love will hone both of you, it will make your marriage the safest place on earth, love will let you endure things, with pure love nothing can stand in your way. I love you both.”
There, I hope you learn something from it too. Staying for the longest time with someone or something or whatever floats your boat is a CHOICE. Do not indulge too much with the saying “if it’s meant to be it will stay” because everything worth keeping is worth fighting for.
I know it depends on the situation but hey, don’t we all want a happy ending? and for us to achieve that, we must make a decision. Find that someone and fall in love with that person without hesitation, find someone worth breaking your own rules, that someone who you will still love even on your bad days, and if you already found that person, stand your ground, no matter what.
Never forget that though you are loving someone dearly, it doesn’t mean you will not save some for yourself. Remember you can only love if you love yourself too. For you to love somebody, you have to love yourself first. Forever is a choice, and it exists.
XOXO
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